Redefining What "Strong" Means as a South Asian Woman

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I’ve been reflecting on what mental health really looks like not just in terms of therapy or self-care, but in the quiet, everyday decisions we make to honor our peace.

This month, I want to explore mental health from different angles and today, I’m starting with how we define strength, especially as South Asian women.

Because for many of us, the way we were raised to view strength actually conflicts with the kind of emotional and mental wellbeing we’re now trying to build.

The Problem With “Strong” as We Were Taught

Strength, in our culture, often looks like self-sacrifice.

The woman who never rests.

The girl who always listens but never speaks.

The daughter who carries tradition and trauma on her back, smiling through it all.

We saw women around us praised for being “so strong,” when really they were just surviving.

So what happens when you start healing? When you say no? When you prioritize your mental health over family approval?

You’re seen as difficult. Rebellious. "Too much."

But that’s the strength I now admire.

Redefining Strength on My Terms

To me now, strength looks like:

• Setting boundaries even when it makes people uncomfortable

• Speaking up when something doesn’t sit right

• Asking for help instead of wearing burnout like a badge

• Letting go of perfectionism

• Choosing peace over performing

It’s knowing that being soft isn’t weak, and being emotional isn’t shameful.

It’s knowing I’m allowed to rewrite what strength means for me, for my healing, and for the women after me.

Healing Is Resistance

Breaking generational cycles isn’t easy.

When you’re the one choosing therapy instead of silence, health instead of hustle, or self-respect over approval, it can feel lonely.

But that is the work. That is strength.

Every time I say:

• “I don’t want to talk over this pain anymore.”

• “I choose rest without guilt.”

• “I don’t exist just to please people.”

…I’m honoring all the women who weren’t allowed to.

My Life Experience

A lot of people don’t like me, and I’ve made peace with that.

They say I’m too outspoken, too direct, too ambitious. They call me stubborn because I know what I want and refuse to be swayed. Funny how none of these traits would be considered a “problem” if I were a man.

Just to be clear, this isn’t about hating on men. It’s about acknowledging that as South Asian women, we’re often expected to fit a mold that was never designed for us.And I’m done shrinking to fit it.

I’ve always stood out. Always been the black sheep. And I’ve never minded it. In fact, I’ve come to love it. I don’t need a group to belong to. I am the group.

Being different isn’t something I fear. It means I’m thinking for myself. It means I might just be rewriting history.

In Conclusion

Being strong isn’t about holding it all together anymore.

It’s about honoring what you feel, owning what you need, and unapologetically becoming who you are.

So here’s to the South Asian women who cry, who say no, who heal, who grow.

You are not “too much.” You are not broken. You are redefining strength for an entire generation. So thank you for being you and setting the new standards. Until next time, Peace 🌿

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